A Time to Party!

by Real Real Housewife on 07/24/11

JAY MOHR--WHERE ARE YOU? I realized today that the Real Housewives of New Jersey is the only franchise that makes me laugh out loud in spite of myself. God, I love that show. And I thank Jesus for this new infusion of Melissa Gorga and Kathy Wakile. No--I mostly thank Jesus for JOE Gorga and RICHIE Wakile. Des guys are gold and the ensemble is sweet, in spite of the dickering with Teresa.

It all makes me want to throw a party for Jesus. A $50,000 party for Baby Jesus. And for Jay Mohr and for whomever at Bravo is responsible for Jay's new blog (that I can't live without).

Anyway, I want to throw a party for Jesus to thank him for renewing my love for all things Housewives. It used to be a glimpse into my favorite things: big jewelry, Sky tops and dresses, and interesting home decor (read: grand, over the top, and AWESOME! Orange County, I'm talking to you! Ok, I'm talking to Vicki, Jeana, and early Tamra). It used to be there was a BIT of drama that made you go WHOO! NO SHE DIH-INT! A bit here and there, but also lunches with ocean views and NYC sky top parties. It used to make me go AHHHHH and prompt me to have a sip of my chardonney and RELAX and decompress.

Then the INCESSANT fighting, fighting, fighting and nothing but fighting and everyone trying to make their own story lines relevent so they don't get canned. Jill shreds Bethenny, Luann shreds Alex, Nene beats the crap out of Kim (or almost does), and the Orange County beeyatches just can't get along. And let's don't even bring up Danielle. Why did it even take them so long to kick her to the curb? Caroline was right--they were cruisin' for a bruisin', and by bruisin' I mean a mob-like hit-smack down drama like Housewives ain' nevuh seen. And you KNOW that's right.

Now there is all this grief with Teresa and her brother and her cousin and her sister-in-law and her cousin's husband and whatever. It does sound like she was blindsided when Bravo secretly brought them onto the show, which was HER turf, but I'm glad they did (and I'm throwing a party for Jesus if I didn't mention that).

(Isn't Cinnamon Toast Crunch the bestest cereal in the WORLD?! It has NO nutritional value, but MAN am I hyped up on sugar! Just thought you should know.).

Anyway, this week' s highlights included a look into Melissa's lie-berry and a swift kick in the bag from Joe Guidice. And a bitch slap down involving Kim G. (ok, not until next week, but it's brewing folks, it's brewing. Like a stew in Kim G's cauldron. Eye of newt, and hair-weave of Danielle. Car keys of Ashley and green feathers of Christmas tree. Double double toil and trouble! In comes Kim G.! And Monica! NO! NOT MONICA!).

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